Rémy is thankful for a rest after 9 hours of road vibration.

Rémy is thankful for a rest after 9 hours of road vibration.

As I prepared to hit the road this morning for the 9-hour drive to Tupelo, Mississippi (I had decided in my “infinite wisdom” that it would be better to meet the first park of the new year after being well rested rather than after camping post 11-hour drive), I checked my weekly Free Will horoscope by Rob Breszny (beware the parenthetical element–because he keeps me amused with his predictions).

He informed me that Elizabeth Taylor (a fellow Piscean) died at 79 without ever having learned how to hard boil an egg. Hmmm, I thought, having just hard-boiled eggs for my camp breakfasts. He went on to tell me that now was the time to find that basic life skill that I had yet to master and learn it.

So I riddled my addled brain while driving–what did I not know how to do? I’ve learned so many basics over the years. And then it finally dawned on me, when I was running through the basic survivor skills (really, I was reaching) that I have never milked a cow. That’s it, I thought, I will learn to milk a cow. I later second-guessed myself by remembering I am lactose intolerant and maybe I didn’t need to know how to milk a cow. Then I thought of cheese–Cheddar, Swiss, Parmesan–and I can eat hard cheeses that have had the lactose fermented out of them, so to speak. Hmmm . . . so maybe I do need to learn how to milk a cow because in the name-your-apocalypse, I might just need to know how to do that. Assuming, of course, that cows haven’t been obliterated.

Really? Spring is tomorrow?

Really? Spring is tomorrow?

Okay, so nine hours alone in a car on a mostly cloudy drive is probably too long to be considering these things. But, what have you not yet mastered?

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